Dear Step Mother, I am just a kid......

When I was five, my father and my mom separated. My father was always on the move, leaving my sisters and me in the care of women who were not our mother, but we had to call them mom, and looking back, they didn't deserve that name.

You see, that name is earned just like trust. Like we say, any man can be a father, but not every father is a dad; it's the same way any woman can be a mother, but it takes a special kind of woman to be a mom. 

From that tender age, I knew how they treated us wasn't right, so I promised myself if I ever got to their position, I would do better. It probably won't be easy, but I would try; I would try to constantly remind myself that I am the adult and I should be the bigger person.

I would be more kind and more understanding. I would give them the grace they deserve as kids. I wouldn't make it seem like a competition between them and me for their dad's love and attention cause, to be honest, in my opinion, the kind of love they need from their dad and the kind of love I need isn't the same.

And even when their Dad and I get more kids, I will tell them by my words and actions that they are equally remarkable, that they are still a part of our big family, and they matter too. 

I wouldn't turn them into enslaved people, making them do all the house chores or not let them go out and play; I would let them enjoy every minute of their childhood by letting them be just kids.

Kids don't ask to be brought to this world, so the least we can do as a society is be a positive guiding light in their path. They learn as they grow and how we treat them dictates who they become as adults. 

So before you step into a kid's life, choose wisely the kind of mark you want to leave their lives. 

And kudos to every stepmom out there who have every day chosen to be the bigger person even when it's super hard.

Kare.